So I pretty much totally failed at NaNo. Getting majorly sick the first week didn't help. Neither did the three huge papers and two midterms I've had so far this month. So yeah. Failed. Very, very much. Meh.

I dunno. I've been fairly bleh lately. Don't care about much of anything. I haven't written much of anything in the past month. I never go more than two days without writing. A week at most. I haven't done anything productive in the better part of a month. And it sucks. I've been at this for ten years. Ten long, incredible years. I mean, I've been writing since I was ten years old. A full half of my life. And for the past five of those years, so half of that, I've only gone more than a week without writing once. A quarter of my life. Just the sheer quantity of writing I've amassed is enough to leave most people speechless.

Though the more I think about it, the more it makes sense that I can't write. Over the past five years I've probably gone a total of three months without writing. Three months spread out over those five years. A day here and there, maybe a week. Never much. I've probably just burned out. I probably need a break. Still. I feel totally useless when I'm not writing.

And it's not even that I'm not writing. It's just that I can't manage anything useful. I do write, it's just that it's meanless babbling. I usually end up throwing out most of what I write when I'm like this. None of it's cannon to any of my stories and most of it doesn't make sense. It just makes me feel useless.

I dunno. I guess my life has revolved so much around writing that when I can't I end up having an existential crisis. Writing seems to be my entire purpose. So if I'm not writing, I can't focus. On anything. Bleh. I dunno. I've been really sick lately. I think that's it. When I'm sick my writing is crap and I've been sick on and off for almost a month. I blame college.

Anyway, that's the end of my rambling. Off to go do.... something. I'll figure that out later.